We meet on the third Thursday of the month at Thame Town Hall
Guest Speaker Interviews
Each month we ask our guest speaker to answer our quiz all about themselves.
Ruth Cox, Nurse and first aid instructor
15th October2020, via Zoom
What inspired you to take up farming and running the farm shop?
My Father was a GP in Marlow for over 40 years. An old fashioned town Gp! Hence I grew up in a world of looking after people, taking out of hours phone calls and chatting to patients and I worked in the surgery in marlow from the age of 13. I loved the accident and emergency side of things. I thought about doing medicine- but I had too many other interests in life and didn`t want to commit to many years of study. Hence chose nursing and became and A and E Sister instead, which I absolutely loved and I could carry on my other interests at the same time ( Music, sports, arts etc)
What do you like best about your job?
The patients ( the nice ones!!) It`s very diverse so it keeps me busy and occupied- I don`t like being too static! . I used to work in A and E, now I work as a practice nurse part-time, I teach first aid courses for companies and schools so I meet lots of new people and love passing on my knowledge. I also work for a clinical training company and I do the first aid at events- so I go to lots of Opera and cricket matches! The Opera is amazing- so it`s not a bad thing being paid to work to watch it!!
What did you want to be when you were a child?
Either a nurse or a musician. I was the one in my family who always looked after my teddies and soft toys and believed they had feelings and were real! I was also the one who played in bands/orchestras and I played for Bucks County Jazz band for many years and used to go on tours to France/Germany and various other places.
If you could only eat one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Lasagne or spaghetti bolognese
If you could go back in time, to which era would you travel?
1994. I met my husband playing in a concert band… and 26 years later, we are still playing in it together! It was such a fun year and a busy one. We met and decided to buy a house 5 weeks later!!
Do you collect anything?
Wedgewood, Strawberry pattern china, thimbles, music books!! I love my show/theatre music books (like Mama Mia, Cats etc )
Who do you think is a good role model for women today?
Kylie Minogue. She`s a decent, fun, genuinely nice person.
What was the last movie you watched? What did you think?
Enola Holmes. Good fun, different, watched it with two of my children and we all really enjoyed it- had popcorn and chocolate and fudge flavour milkshake at the same time!! ( my children are 21, 18 and 14, but we still love our family film nights altogether!)
What was the last book you read and loved? What did you love about it?
The Horse, the Boy the Mole and the Fox by Charlie Macksey. It is a very gentle, beautifully written book. It has a lot of good, sound mental health advice that puts things into perspective. Everyone should read it ! It helps you understand people and thoughts.
I only read one or two novels maximum a year as I'm dyslexic and a very slow reader so it takes me ages to get through them! But I read a lot of medical journals on and off line and I am forever reading things on line/going on courses and reading presentations to keep my knowledge updated for teaching purposes. So I read a lot- just not books!
What's the most important lesson life has taught you?
Life is far too short. Sweat the big stuff, put things into perspective , enjoy everything you do, do as much and as many things as you can fit into it, and ultimately be kind and patient. At the end of the day, most people just want a bit of kindness- and it doesn`t have to cost a lot!!
Do you have any ambitions or dreams you would like to achieve?
.
To have more time to play the piano and get much better at it.
To learn Italian again
To buy a camper van and go travelling to various places in Europe in it with my husband.
To watch the sunset in Arizona.
Apart from seeing friends and family, what’s one thing you’ve missed most during lockdown?
Playing my musical instruments in bands and orchestras , being part of a group that has a common interest and hearing all the sounds of the instruments- and having a laugh with my fellow musicians!
I play the flute, saxophone and piano regularly ( but can also play the violin and ukulele!! )
Lois Selmes, Waterperry Farm
17th September 2020, via Zoom
What inspired you to take up farming and running the farm shop?
Will and I are both from farming families so it was a natural step to try and build our home on a farm of our own. I had an earlier city career for a while, but the pull of the rural life made me turn my passion for small business into a farm shop. Will produces the best quality cattle and sheep, farmed in a traditional way, and I wanted to celebrate that and offer a way to sell our produce direct to the customer.
What do you like best about your job?
Our lovely customer!
What did you want to be when you were a child?
An archaeologist! Will, of course, always wanted to be a farmer – his first word was tractor
If you could only eat one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be?
That is an impossible question!! I think it would have to be a roast
If you could go back in time, to which era would you travel?
I would like to go back to the 1980s – as a 1980s baby, I pretty much missed it, but it looked great fun.
Do you collect anything?
Ponies, so my husband tells me.
Who do you think is a good role model for women today?
There is a fantastic programme on Channel 5 called the Yorkshire Farm. Amanda Owen is a wonderful farmer’s wife who is helping to farm, diversify the business and raise their 9 children on one of the most remote farms in Swaledale. She is an inspiration to me. Although, in these times, it is easy to think of the ‘superwoman’ type person as a role model. However, they are each often wishing they could do more at work, do more with the children, keep the house better, be more social. I think many ladies are looking back to their grandparent's generation now for a role model, as we see a resurgence in crafts, early 20th century baby names and frugal shopping/mending/recycling - these current times are making us all re-evaluate our priorities, so to pick one role model is challenging.
What was the last movie you watched? What did you think?
I can’t remember the last grown up film I watched, we don’t often have time sadly. So I think it was Moana with the children. Disney has finally empowered women – it's a good one!
What was the last book you read and loved? What did you love about it?
On a recurring theme from above – it was The Yorkshire Shepherdess. It was fascinating to delve into the life of another farmers wife.
What's the most important lesson life has taught you?
Resilience and trusting that ‘gut feeling’. A friend once said to me his motto in life and business was Decide...Work Hard...Achieve. I have pinched it from him but I like the way it implies that sometimes you just have to make that leap, and as long as you work hard and push through challenges, then it will happen.
Do you have any ambitions or dreams you would like to achieve?
I would like the farm shop to continue to grow and for us to have a business that we can one day share with our children if they choose.
Apart from seeing friends and family, what’s one thing you’ve missed most during lockdown?
As we worked all through lockdown, we strangely felt everything remained quite normal for us. It made us realise how antisocial our busy family and farming lives are!
Jo Tiddy, Bookseller
20th August 2020 via Zoom
What inspired you to take up bookselling?
I’m a late bloomer with regard to bookselling. I’ve always loved books and bookshops and libraries, but I spent 25 years in local government as a town planner and a historic buildings officer. Local Government is no longer a particularly fun place to work, so I quit about 6 years ago. I’ve been a gardener, garden designer and a dinner lady, but when the role came up at The Bookhouse I jumped at the chance. I’ve been taking my children there for 24 years so the shop was beloved anyway
What do you like best about your job?
Apart from the books? Talking to people. I can be very chatty. Starting conversations about books, feeling passionate about a particular book or author, and wanting to share that. Finding that perfect book for your summer holiday, or an old favourite. When children get excited about books it makes me very happy.
What did you want to be when you were a child?
I did a lot of long-haul travel as a child, so I decided quite early on that I was going to be an air hostess. I thought it was the most glamorous job in the world, and maybe it was then – this was in the 1970’s. I also discovered quite early on that I got terrible air sickness so that career path was never going to work out. After that I was going to be a safari guide and also keep goats. The goats might still happen one day.
If you could only eat one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Sashimi. Specifically yellowfin tuna sashimi sitting on the terrace of The Tamarind Restaurant in Mombasa, looking out over Old Kilindini Harbour and watching the dhows sailing out.
If you could go back in time, to which era would you travel?
The 1920’s always seem exciting, that whole Jazz Age era. Obviously, I’d have to be a stinking rich socialite with a fabulous wardrobe and hordes of eligible suitors to enjoy them properly. I think it’s a result of too much Gatsby as a teenager.
Do you collect anything?
If I was a 1920s socialite I could say “husbands” with a trilling laugh… So, I have collected just the one husband and he says that I collect ‘junk’. I did have a thing for vintage sewing machines for a while, but they take up too much space; I’ve had to winnow my collection down. At the moment I am keen on mid-century earthenware and vintage marmalade pots. Cue much eye-rolling from aforementioned only husband.
Who do you think is a good role model for women today?
Role model. Tricky. Lots of them. I’ll go for JK Rowling, who has inspired so many children to read, and seems to keep a level head despite the various brickbats that are thrown at her on social media.
What was the last movie you watched? What did you think?
I rarely watch movies, or TV, usually because I’m last in the queue for the remote. I did re-watch Mamma Mia 2 recently, and howled all the way through. I’m a massive Abba fan, they were the soundtrack to my childhood. And yes, the movie is utterly cheesy, but it’s also massively fun and bittersweet and all those things essential for a bit of escapism. Oh, and Hamilton, of course. I’m obsessed.
What was the last book you read and loved? What did you love about it?
At the moment I’m reading “V is for Victory”, by Lissa Evans. Set in the dying days of the Second World War, it picks up the story of characters that she first introduced in Crooked Heart. I love Lissa’s writing, it’s wry, and moving and she evokes an era so perfectly but with a modern understanding. I haven’t quite finished it yet, and it’s coming out in September.
At the same time I have also been reading Nevil Shute’s “Pastoral”, a favourite that I pick up every few years. First published in the 1950’s it tells the story of a young RAF pilot on an Oxfordshire airbase. A perfectly restrained and sweet love story set against the horrors of long-range bombing raids during wartime. Stiff upper lips all round, and it manages to make me weep every time I read it
What's the most important lesson life has taught you?
This too will pass. And not to sweat the small stuff.
Do you have any ambitions or dreams you would like to achieve?
I will finish writing the novel. I recently transferred all my writing to a new laptop and discovered to my shame that I have five half-written novels, Lockdown should have provided the perfect opportunity to finish at least one of them, and I have actually completed a first draft, but I’ve now gone off it!! I suspect a great many novels were written during lockdown, expect a glut of Corona novels next year (but not from me).
Apart from seeing friends and family, what’s one thing you’ve missed most during lockdown?
Swimming. From 4 times a week to absolutely none. I got back in the pool for the first time last week and it was glorious. Apart from that, nothing. I was very fortunate to have my family with me, to have the space for a reasonably stress-free lockdown, and to have a teenager who didn’t mind driving to the supermarket and standing in a queue.
Zoe Charles, Burlesque Artist
18th June 2020, via Zoom
What inspired you to take up burlesque?
Coming from a theatre background I found the burlesque platform so liberating, fun and creative. A place to combine femininity, sensuality, comedy and story telling.
What do you like best about your job?
I set up the school 13 years ago and have since worked with over 7000 women internationally. The opportunity to hold sos e for women to be inspired by who they are and fall in love with their bodies is such an honour. I love it.
What did you want to be when you were a child?
An actress
If you could only eat one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be?
I’d have to throw out all my corsets because I’d eat roast dinner every day if I could.
If you could go back in time, to which era would you travel?
Burlesque is very inspired by the 40s and 50s but I also love the bohemian 60s and 70s hard to choose. I might have to time travel through them all.
Do you collect anything?
I could waste many hours rummaging through thrift shops looking for vintage clothes. But my husband would tell you I collect cushions, I love fabric, pattern, textures. The house is full up with colourful cushions....
Who do you think is a good role model for women today?
I recently watched the documentary Becoming, following Michelle Obama on boom your. Her grace, authenticity, honesty, charm and power is truly inspiring.
What was the last book you read and loved? What did you love about it?
Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert. Taught me to always follow my curiosity. Code Red by Lisa Lister was also life changing, l learned about the power of my cycle.
What's the most important lesson life has taught you?
To be vulnerable, being vulnerable often takes courage but it allows me to connect with people and allows space for authenticity.
Do you have any ambitions or dreams you would like to achieve?
To write more and finish a book or two.
Apart from seeing friends and family, what’s one thing you’ve missed most during lockdown?
Childcare 🙏🙏🙏
Sarah Minchin, Photographer
21st May 2020, via Zoom
What inspired you to take up photography?
I feel like I’ve always taken photos; I think I got my first camera aged about 10 and I was hooked! It was always a hobby until our youngest was born 2 months early and I started taking photos regularly to document his progress through NICU and SCBU. That snowballed into family friends asking for photos, someone needing a new headshot, my first wedding, etc.
What do you like best about your job?
People! I love being part of someone’s life, even if just for a few hours. I really like capturing those big and little moments, especially for those who don’t like being in front of the camera. Seeing them relax and love the finished photos gives me major satisfaction.
What did you want to be when you were a child?
A teacher, which I was for 12 years. I now continue to work in schools as a librarian, alongside my photography.
If you could only eat one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Tough question! Anything with pasta makes me very happy, especially if it’s gnocchi. I once had a garlic and cheese gnocchi dish in Geneva, and it was the most delicious thing ever.
If you could go back in time, to which era would you travel?
I’m fascinated by the American pioneers; I think it’s because I read Little House on the Prairie when I was younger. Not sure I’d last long, though, I’m a bit of a wimp and not the most practical person.
Do you collect anything?
Vintage cameras, they don’t have to work but they need to be pretty.
Who do you think is a good role model for women today?
Michelle Obama – she’s strong, intelligent and compassionate
What was the last movie you watched? What did you think?
The Sun is Also a Star on Netflix, I’m a big fan of the book so I was worried about the adaptation, but they did a good job. It’s most definitely a Young Adult title (I read a lot of them for work) with too much instant-love for a lot of people but I thought it was very cute.
What was the last book you read and loved? What did you love about it?
Devil Darling Spy by Matt Killeen. The lead character is a strong young woman who uses her brain and wit to get herself out of some very dangerous situations. The book also has the most amazing message about standing up for what’s right (and how important libraries are).
What's the most important lesson life has taught you?
That I’m a lot tougher than I think. If I can run half-marathons, then I can cope with most things.
Do you have any ambitions or dreams you would like to achieve?
I really want to travel more; I feel like I’ve hardly seen anything in the world (might have to put that one off for a while). I’d also love to exhibit my photography one day.
Apart from seeing friends and family, what’s one thing you’ve missed most during lockdown?
Time alone! I love having my family together at home but there’s always someone around and I really miss my alone time.
Jenny Todd, Therapist
20th February, 2020, Thame Town Hall
What inspired you to take up counselling and therapy?
I had reached a period of change in my life, divorce and new relationship, redundancy and early retirement, children grown up and away, and the death of my mother – and in reflecting on all this, I realised that our extended family had been really poor at talking about things, or acknowledging that things weren’t perfect. The counselling training was a period of self exploration, and this continues on a daily basis working with clients. Because the counselling relationship is all about being curious, and not assuming you have the answers, clients’ situations and issues often reveal truths about myself.
What do you like best about what you do?
Counselling is about helping people to understand themselves, to realise what they can improve, and to learn to live with what they cannot change. Seeing clients move forward after they have been ‘stuck’ is very rewarding.
What did you want to be when you were a child?
A librarian - I stuck date labels in all my books. My wish came true – I was a professional librarian in Bucks Library Service for over 30 years, ending up as Head of Libraries.
If you could eat one meal for the rest of your life what would it be?
Porridge with maple syrup – comfort food!
If you could go back in time to which era would you travel?
I wouldn’t! I value equal opportunities, showers, flush toilets and safer childbirth too much.
Do you collect anything?
Not any longer. It used to be Art Deco furniture and Victorian Sunday School prize books. Now I prefer clearing things out – apart from family photos.
Who do you think is a good role model for women today?
Michele Obama – dignified, wise, sexy and beautiful.
What was the last film you watched and what did you think?
Little Women – like most other girls I identified with Jo; the film was fairly true to the book, apart from Mr Bhaer, whom Jo married. It would have been far more in character for Jo to marry an elderly, plain academic, but kind and wise – unlike the very handsome Louis Garrel.
What’s the most important lesson life has taught you?
You can’t make an omelette without breaking eggs.
Do you have any ambitions or dreams you would like to achieve?
Seeing the next generation set up in nice homes. Apart from that, I think I have achieved them all. I couldn’t be happier.
What is your claim to fame?
Most embarrassing was being told by a very nice lady as I was walking round an Antique Fair at Wembley that I had my dress tucked in my knickers! Of course my husband was blissfully unaware!
Anything else to tell us?
No, I think some things are better left private.
Toni Kent, Comedian
16th January 2020, Thame Town Hall
What inspired you to take up Comedy poetry?
I have written poems for my friends my whole life with the aim of making them laugh (and sometimes cry – I’ve done a few wedding poems!). It was after getting a great response when posting a couple on Facebook that I thought it would be worth performing them for a wider audience.
What do you like best about what you do?
The instant audience response. Especially when the poems are a bit rude….
What did you want to be when you were a child?
In the spirit of being totally honest – I wanted to be a pop star or Simon Le Bon’s wife!
If you could eat one meal for the rest of your life what would it be?
Curry.
If you could go back in time to which era would you travel?
1920s. I love art deco and could see myself as a flapper girl.
Do you collect anything?
Scientists. I’ll tell you more about that when I meet you
Who do you think is a good role model for women today?
Any woman that stands up publicly for what she believes in gets my vote. But you probably want some names so…. Lizzo for being uncompromising (and outrageously talented), Kimberley Motley for her fearless approach to human rights – check out her Desert Island Discs appearance. On a more local level, the Smart Works Reading team – led by Sarah Burns MBE they have helped hundreds of women across the Thames Valley return to work by providing them with free interview coaching and work clothing. What I admire about them most is their totally non-judgemental approach.
What was the last film you watched and what did you think?
Jumanji: The Next Level. It was funny and silly with some good twists.
What’s the most important lesson life has taught you?
Fundamentally, people are good. Also, having a sense of humour is a powerful and protective thing.
Do you have any ambitions or dreams you would like to achieve?
I’d love to perform at the NFWI Annual Meeting!
What is your claim to fame?
I once met Mel B in Boots in Marlow.
Anything else to tell us?
I’ve got two children and two dogs – thank you for giving me a break and a night out!